"Why Can't I Own a Canadian?" is just what I've been looking for to prove to Christian Fundamentalists that the laws in The Old Testament of The Bible no longer apply to today's Christians.  The next time you're in a debate about The Old Testament remember this question, "Why Can't I Own a Canadian?" and Google it.  This is what you'll find:

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Note to Stumblers:

Some comments criticizing this piece indicate that it was "hijacked" from a West Wing episode. This is a chicken and egg argument in my opinion. I don't really know which came first, and frankly don't care.

Here's the link where I found this version of this letter:  Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

Snopes.com classifies this letter as a "Legend" so it's NOT False.  But they say it dates back to at least May 2000, just after the state of Vermont first allowed civil unions between same-sex couples.  Snopes says the letter may or may not have actually been sent to Dr. Laura, but the content of the letter is quite accurate as to its Bible references.  And, in October 2000 Dr. Laura actually ran a full page ad in Variety apologizing for comments she made about homosexuals being "biological errors" and "deviants".  (Snopes also mentions the nude pictures of Dr. Laura that surfaced in 1998.  Although those pics have little to do with this Legendary Letter, still it's pretty spicey stuff!)

Here's the link for the Snopes Legend article... http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

Besides refuting the nonsense some people like to selectively cull from The Bible to condemn homosexuals, this is a great letter to simply prove that The Old Testament just does NOT apply to Christians.  I've written about my thoughts on this matter before, in these two Newsvine articles...

My Kind of Christian (May NOT Be Yours)

and, 

The Golden Rule and how my karma ran over my dogma!

So, I won't belabor that point here in this article.  Just know that this letter, "Why Can't I Own a Canadian?" is just what I've been looking for to sum-up some of my arguments in both of those articles.

Oh, and that West Wing episode that this letter was supposedly "hijacked from" is Season 2, Episode 25, "The Midterms" which first aired on October 18, 2000.  So the Legendary Letter apparently came before The West Wing episode, and not after, or given how long it takes to write a TV script perhaps at the same relative time.  Like the note at the bottom of the letter says, I "frankly don't care." it doesn't really matter.  But here is the video clip from that episode regarding this letter's content.  Enjoy!

p.s. This is an article about religion, NOT politics.  Let's keep the discussion focussed on that okay.  And remember the CoH and Newsvine User Agreement Rules apply here.  So let's keep the conversations civil and adult.  Violators will be reported.  Thanks for your kind cooperation.