
A short clip from the script of: A FEW GOOD MUPPETS, featuring Willard Mitt Romney playing himself, and starring Big Bird, Kermit The Frog, and Cookie Monster. What do you think? Would you like to see this movie? Read the script. Take the poll!
Here's a clip from the script of ....
A FEW GOOD MUPPETS
Willard Mitt Romney is standing trial for his attempts on the life of beloved Sesame Street character, Big Bird. He stands accused of launching an operation to defund PBS, which many have dubbed "Code Yellow!"
Kermit the Frog: Mister Romney, did you order the Code Yellow?
Da Judge: You don't have to answer that question!
Mitt Romney: I'll answer the question!
[turning toward Kermit the Frog]
Mitt Romney: You Want Answers?
Kermit the Frog: I think I'm entitled to.
Mitt Romney: YOU WANT ANSWERS?
Kermit the Frog: I want the truth!
Mitt Romney: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
[pauses]
Mitt Romney: Frog, we live in a world that has Wall Street, and those on Wall Street have to be guarded by men with power. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Cookie Monster?
I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
You weep for Big Bird, and you curse the One Percenters. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Big Bird's death, while tragic, will probably save fortunes.
And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves fortunes.
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on Wall Street, you need me in The White House.
We use words like profit, capital, bankruptcy, liquidation, outsourcing. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent creating wealth. You use them as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a parasite who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the tax dollars that I pay my minimum share of, and then questions the manner in which I pay them.
I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a stock option, and stand at the ticker.
Either way, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE ENTITLED TO.
Kermit the Frog: Did you order the Code Yellow?
Mitt Romney: I did the job I...
Kermit the Frog: DID YOU ORDER THE CODE YELLOW?
Mitt Romney: YOU'RE GOSHDARNED RIGHT I DID!
FADE TO BLACK